Here’s the ultimate guide to settling the question – is he/she Aussie?
From Craig Ferguson walking around the other way, to being asked how kangaroo meat tastes when taken with a dash of vegemite, there’s a whole range of stereotypes – many of them wildly off the mark – that are often heaped upon us.
What we need is an authentic guide to settling the issue once and for all.
Here are 5 ways to tell you have an Aussie friend.
They shun the shoe
Have you ever tried walking around London, barefoot, in January?
Chances are, you won’t be repeating that feat in a hurry.
Because of the damn cold.
It’s the exact opposite out here.
The weather’s warm (and humid) for most of the year, which makes putting on socks and shoes self-inflicted punishment.
We make do with thongs, a.k.a. flip flops, while stepping outside for most of the year. That is, if at all – many of us just go out barefoot.
They will warn you about all the dangerous animals that could attack you in Australia
Australia has more than its share of dangerous animals that can jump out at any minute and endanger your life.
And, as concerned citizens of this great country, we will warn you about all of them, to make sure you’re safe.
Particularly life-threatening is the drop bear.
The legendary drop bears
You’ve heard of koalas, right?
The fuzzy and cuddly icons of Australia that make it onto the Instagram feed of any celebrity who happens to drop into the country?
Well, not many people know this, but the koala has a cousin, who’s sinister. And lethal.
Meet our legendary drop bear.
The Australian Museum website describes the drop bear as a ‘large, arboreal, predatory marsupial related to the koala’, with powerful forearms and teeth for attacking, immobilizing, and killing its prey.
It’s known as the ‘drop bear’ because it likes to live up in the trees, and then literally drop down on its prey from above.
Here’s how vicious a drop bear can be.
What are you thinking?
Yeah, drop bears are legendary…to the point of being non-existent.
Drop bears are something we Aussies make up to prank unsuspecting tourists, like you saw.
As far as dangerous animals are concerned, Australia does have a number of venomous snakes, but they aren’t that big of a danger, especially in the urban centres.
However venomous the snake, its first preference is always to slither away from humans as fast as possible.
They eat PRAWNS
Pre-Crocodile Dundee Paul Hogan spent so much time slipping an “extra shrimp on the barbie” in a series of advertisements by the Australian Tourism Commission that the phrase has stuck with us.
Everybody seems to think ‘shrimps’ are an Australian delicacy.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
One, we don’t call them ‘shrimps’. We call them PRAWNS.
Two, they’re not exactly a national symbol around here. They get a popularity boost around Christmas, but apart from that, they’re just another item of seafood.
They sometimes speak their own language
It’s still English, but a version of it that we’ve Aussied up.
And so, you’ll find that everybody’s a ‘mate’, ‘afternoon’ becomes ‘arvo’, ‘umbrella’ becomes ‘brolly’, ‘chicken’ becomes ‘chook’, and so on.
To top it off, if you’re looking unwell, we’ll say ‘you’re crook’. Yep, ‘crook’ can mean ‘unwell’, in addition to meaning ‘crook’.
They’re very defensive over how they eat pie
Americans have that long running debate about how to eat pasta – twirling it on the spoon, or cutting it.
We don’t believe in arguing over the best way to eat pasta.
We argue over the best way to eat pie.
- Some of us just bite into it.
- Some take the top off first.
- And some take the top off, and squirt sauce all over the filling.
Which is the best way? The debate continues…
So, is your friend Aussie?
If they are, you should book a slot at Sydney’s best VR escape room, for one fine afternoon!
And, no, I won’t say G’Day Mate, because we DON’T say it that often!